In the respect of cloning other writers, it is apparent that I must find ways to supplement my income with sources other than the premium newsletter and investment returns. It’s the only way to stop myself from making foolish investment decisions that will sour long-term returns. 

You see, my biggest investment mistake came from a period of social and financial stress whilst on the three-year journey I now refer to as “making my Personal MBA.” As expected, periods of desperation don’t go well with a strategy suited for long time horizons. 

It’s with a heavy but knowing heart that I draw my resume out from the drawer, blow the dust off, and slot it into the inbox of company career pages. I silently pray they won’t be read by someone in HR but a decision-maker, better yet, someone who is genuinely curious about a human instead of obsessed with ticking boxes on a checklist. 

I know this is expecting high things from organizations but why stoop to silliness? Just because most companies will play silly games, doesn’t mean I should partake in the silliness of “tell me about yourself in 15 minutes.” Motherfucker even a date with someone you hate lasts longer than that and the salary you would pay me is worth more than the dinner date. 

I’ve done enough of that. Now, playing the game will result in higher financial reward—as the companies that care the least tend to pay stupidly well—the anxiety I feel in my heart is far too great for the money to be worth it. I’ve seen how ugly a human I become when I choose money over my values and the latter is a stronger, nicer person with fewer possessions. All a win. I also take this ivory tower position because…well…I’ve got a comfortable upper-middle-class setup. If I didn’t press this advantage, why…that would be irrational of me wouldn’t it? I’m only being a good…and bad…capitalist. 

Still, the fact remains, that most writers and creators I admire had to supplement their main pursuit with another job. I could find a bank job doing something with numbers or finance. That’s what I’ve been telling younger folks who reach out thinking I’ve got it made. They must think “this guy must be insane not to have had it made and no longer work in hedge funds.” They are correct, I must be insane. 

On top of that, I fail to take my own advice to the younger folks. I can’t even bear to see their success after taking the advice because I know I am just not going to follow my advice. I’m the kind of person that can only focus on one type of thing. 

That means there isn’t a possibility that I do business strategy or accounting whilst trying to write about people—so much for all the exit opportunities consulting and accounting was supposed to get me. Even if the pay is a third, hopefully, of what my precious profession might’ve paid, it is the only sustainable strategy to pursue any means of writing to keep this venture going. The only person that made me seem…not crazy?…was Haruki Murakami because that’s how he operates too. 

I’m not saying this means I’ll be as successful as him. But he’s Japanese, I’m Korean…he started writing on a whim at 29 and I did a few months before turning 29….so….if the shoe fits. 

Now, I’ve tried to make applying for jobs akin to my daily Omega-3 pill. Something that needs to be taken care of. This came as a result of having failed to make it a nighttime task. When I made it a morning endeavour, I saw great success. It’s not a perfect process. I have to stop myself from applying to some strategy or investing job.

My mind goes “I can do that.” Even after all this, my mind can be such a weak shit. It’s never a matter of “can.” It’s a matter of “should.” Should I do this? That’s the question. Innate is the privilege I have with my position. I can’t ever hope to have you understand. But know that much of this privilege is a choice. It’s just…seldom chosen.