Optimizing Distractions

With the purpose of using social media as a tool to cultivate my relationships, I thought about using it as a trigger during daily moments of distraction.

My desire to not waste time led to taking social media off my phone a few years ago. As far as my presence on social media goes, I’m as close to non-existent.

However, I noticed that I still pick up my phone during the short moments of pause in my life. I’m talking about the two-minute elevator ride, waiting for the streetlight, a moment when the TV has failed to maintain your attention, etc…

Sometimes, my phone is in the early morning period of airplane mode so I look at it and then put it away. But I’ve still been habituated to look at it, even while knowing it’s on airplane mode. I guess inhibiting any further distraction means the purpose of the airplane mode was achieved?

Still, I get the feeling that I will instinctively seek distraction from momentary boredom…no matter how short. If I didn’t, then I’d be close to perfection and that’s what I’m gunning for…all the while knowing I can’t ever achieve it. But, on the route to being “perfectly” free of distraction, how can I optimize this tendency I have?

As my divorce from social media hits the 2-3 year period (depends on the app), I’ve been thinking about whether I’m ready to use it as a tool or if I’ll let my highly addictive tendencies run me again.

In the spirit of parallel processing…aka hitting two birds with one stone…I wanted to see if I could use social media as a tool while benefiting an area that was lacking in my life. The desire for community. One might say in the age of the internet that should be a breeze.

Despite most personality tests citing I’m an extreme extrovert…I have noticed a natural aversion to connecting/messaging strangers on the internet. Despite my love for conversation, sending out emails to get guests on my Accounted For podcast felt like pulling out nails. I’ve done both (breakdancing destroys toenails) and I’ve pulled out nails faster than I sent cold emails.

I think you get the picture for this aversion for digital contact vs. physical contact as I’d much rather strike up a conversation with someone in a coffee shop than on Twitter.

Then there is the element of wanting to make an interaction valuable. I experimented with this a few weeks back where I’d try to send someone in my network an article/podcast/content that I thought would help them. The idea was to do this daily but it quickly lost its….motivation….despite the win-win intent (I feel good for making them feel good).

Naturally, I need something with less friction and an action that allows me to achieve multiple goals at once so that my over-optimizing mind considers it a valuable thing to be aware of.

What I’ve settled on is going into my Facebook Messenger and messaging someone I hadn’t spoken to in a while. A simple “Hey, how are you doing?” Side note, I get that this might not be social media but using this app proactively is still a foreign act for me.

I know I love attention and it makes me feel special when someone reaches out wanting to know how I am. I also imagine this is similar for most people. Hence, the random message achieves a practice of doing something valuable for someone. Attention. If I consider it valuable, then it’s probably fair others might too.

It also is an action I can make the default during the moments of distractions when I will inevitably look at my phone. I’m going to look at my phone anyway, so might as well make it one where I achieve something positive than a mere distraction for the sake of it.

It also lets me cultivate the feeling of community. It's something I’ve been yearning for more in my life and if it’s to be digital, I’m more comfortable doing it with people I know. Maybe this will make digital interaction feel normal in the future for me to message strangers freely on other digital platforms. Fingers crossed.

It’s also a positive way to utilize social media as the tool I want it to be. To use the tool for my benefit rather than merely being the product they sell to their advertisers. As long as it’s a win/win relationship then it’s fine.

The programming is to thus default to going to my Facebook Messenger when I experience my daily desire for short-term distraction and catch-up with someone of the past. It sounds like a solid plan in theory and I’m rather excited to see it in practice. How will you optimize your distraction?